Holidays of music and dance

Cabaret de Caliente, photo by Will Bucquoy

Best Holiday Concert Shopping Experience: What says “Santa Baby” more than holiday pole-dancing, a lingerie fashion show and DJ music in an old abbey reincarnated as a brewpub? It’s called Cabaret de Caliente and it’s all about holiday burlesque Dec. 13 at Hopmonk. The dancers are from Burlesque Bootcamp, the lingerie from Spice Sensuality Boutique and the music by DJ Fact.50. 9:30 p.m. at Hopmonk, 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. $15 door/$10 advance. www.cabaretdecaliente.com.

Best Smooth Christmas: ’Tis the season when Dave Koz dons the Santa hat, lights up his sax and hooks up with friends Sheila E, David Benoit, Javier Colon and Margo Ray for a smooth jazz Christmas tour. Swinging by the Wells Fargo Center on Dec. 14, they’ll unwrap all the chestnuts and ease into a few of Dave’s interpretations from his three holiday albums “December Makes Me Feel This Way,” “A Smooth Jazz Christmas By Dave Koz & Friends” and “Memories of a Winter’s Night.” $39-$69. 8 p.m. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. www.wellsfargocenterarts.org.

Most Twisted Yuletide Affair: Not to be missed, Dave Templeton’s Twisted Christmas No. 10 is a one-of-a-kind holiday gem you’ll only find in Sonoma County. The ace storyteller and performer is going out with a Mayan bang for what he says is the final year of the production run, bringing in “Sin City” actor Rick Gomez, political satirist Will Durst, comic Diane Amos, actress Liz Jahren and many more. It all leads up to the annual finale reading of Templeton’s “Crumbs at Midnight,” a tale told by cookies about to be eaten by Santa Claus. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15. Glaser Center, 547 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. $20 advance/$25 door. www.glasercenter.com.

Best Folk-Skiffle-Swing Holiday Hoedown: Every year around this time, a pot-luck crew of former Wild Turkey egg-noggers break loose from their other bands and reconvene as the Christmas Jug Band, selling everything from CDs to mini-washboards emblazoned with snow scenes. They can never tell you exactly who will be in the band on any given night (Note: This year, Dan Hicks will be performing in Florida on this date), but this much is known: It’s by far the most informal, knee-slapping holiday twang fest around. 8 p.m. Dec. 15 at the Raven Theater, Healdsburg. $20. www.raventheater.org.

Bay Area freelancer John Beck writes about entertainment for The Press Democrat. You can reach him at 280-8014, john@sideshowvideo.com and follow on Twitter @becksay.